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To better understand the subjective lived experience of persons diagnosed with avoidant personality disorder (AVPD).

Persons with an AVPD (N = 15) were interviewed twice with semistructured qualitative interviews and analyzed through interpretative–phenomenological analysis. Persons with first‐hand experience of AVPD were included in the research process.

The superordinate theme, “struggling to be a person,” encompassed two main themes. The first, “fear and longing,” incorporated the subthemes “longing for connection,” “dreading to get close” and “being alone, for better or for worse.” The second main theme, “a doubting self,” included the subthemes “feeling insecure” and “searching for a sense of self.”

The findings shed light on how the reflexive selves of people with AVPD might struggle with sense‐making, sense of agency, and identity. This study …