In two-dimensional artificial crystals with large real-space periodicity, the nonlinear current response to a large applied electric field can feature a strong angular dependence, which encodes information about the band dispersion and Berry curvature of isolated electronic Bloch minibands. Within the relaxation-time approximation, we obtain analytic expressions up to infinite order in the driving field for the current in a band-projected theory with time-reversal and trigonal symmetry. For a fixed field strength, the dependence of the current on the direction of the applied field is given by rose curves whose petal structure is symmetry constrained and is obtained from an expansion in real-space translation vectors. We illustrate our theory with calculations on periodically buckled graphene and twisted double bilayer graphene, wherein the discussed physics can be accessed at experimentally relevant field strengths.