Background

Previous studies about experiences with rheumatoid arthritis (RA) often have a biomedical perspective. Few studies have discussed the meaning of living with the phenomenon RA from a single-case investigation. This was an important issue when deciding to analyse and interpret one woman’s diary, which covered eight years of living with RA. The aim of this study was to investigate the meaning of living with the phenomenon RA, using one woman’s personal diary spanning eight years. The present study is an in-depth case investigation with a phenomenological-hermeneutic design. One woman diagnosed with RA eight years ago and the meaning of living with RA, according to her. A personal periodically written diary was used for this study. The text was analysed using a phenomenological-hermeneutic method inspired by the philosopher Ricoeur. Results. The results are presented in two themes and five subthemes. The theme ‘To feel doubt, grief and lost identity’mirror the big challenge it is to live with rheumatoid arthritis for body, soul, identity and social contacts in daily life. This theme emerged from the following subthemes:‘Being sad about constant physical pain and the loss of bodily function’,‘Being sad about feelings of constant tiredness’,‘Losing identity creates a lack of confidence,’and ‘Being sad and disappointed when meeting carers and colleagues face to face.’The theme ‘To be good enough’mirrors a long process in which an expression of more confidence becomes visible. This theme emerged from the subtheme ‘Enjoying the small things in life’. The meaning of living with RA for a number of years seems to have created feelings of not being good enough and also of losing one’s identity. The process of implementing a changed picture of oneself and also of implementing a good self-image seems to be a very long and difficult process for a person living with RA. This is an important issue for care staff working with RA patients to be aware of, since it has influence on the RA patient’s self-respect.